Martin Kearns' Criminal Bits

O k, perhaps not criminal exactly (but sure as heck will be soon under the jackboot of the joyless fuckers who think they run our lives); in any event, this page features a small (but expanding) collection of snippets and snappits sourced online by Martin that he finds amusing, entertaining, informative, moving or provocative (and preferably all of those things) - with the added bonus that several of them have more than a grain of potential to cause offense to the fervently religious and politically correct.

While some of this stuff is mainstream and easily recognisable... much of it may not be; so whether any given clip might cause offence may pretty much be a

"Take your pick"

...sort of thing. If you're browsing from a computer at work, it might be safest to wait until you get home to check at least some of these - just to be on the safe side...

Anyway, enjoy! And if you are of a nervous disposition (or one of the aforesaid joyless fuckers) - and feel that you are likely to find any of the content on this page offensive, you should navigate away from this website at the earliest opportunity - here's a safe haven for you.

UPDATE! -November 23 2012

Okay, so I just returned from an extended break in Europe... no TV, cinema, newspapers, not even the internet -and boy, am I glad to catch up with everything! I see from the news that the the old President is the same as the old President, the psycho Israeli Government has again been genociding the Palestinians and that there is after all, no truth in the rumours that Lord McAlpine of West Green is a paedophile!

Martin's "Illegal" bits (in no particular order...)

Tim Minchin’s "A Tribute to the Pope"

Alex Vegas' "An English Defence League Spokesman said..."

Derek and Clive's "Durex Handicap"

Basta's "Call centre prank"

Sharon Wright's "Change for a Dollar"

Kirk Nugent's "Ultimate Answer"

Python's "Summarise Proust" - uncut, uncensored!

R.E.M.'s "Shiny Happy People"

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

The Krogh siblings' "Woof-Spoof"

Playing For Change's "One Love"

Soccer Am's "Critique of EastEnders"

George Carlin's "American Dream"

Jill and Kevin's "Wedding Entrance Dance"

UOGB's "The Good, the bad and the ugly..."

Hugh Newman's "Validation"

Weebl's Stuff "Shapey Dave"

Arev Manoukian's "Nuite Blanche"

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